Sorry, Mrs. Reagan

President-elect Obama conjured up the spirit of "Foot in Mouth" during his first post-election press conference. He falsely claimed that Nancy Reagan held seances in the White House.

The comment came when the president-elect was asked if he would be consulting previous presidents. "I've spoken to all of them that are living ... I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances," he said. The comment generated some chuckles and afterwards a personal phone call to Mrs. Reagan. He apologized for what he called a "careless and offhanded remark."

For the record, Mrs. Reagan reportedly consulted astrologers. It was Hillary Clinton who took part in a seance -- albeit in jest.

Passing Gas is Against the Law

A guy gets busted for breaking wind. Visit my new blogsite to read the story: www.foxnewsradio.com

WE"RE MOVING!

Folks, the blog is officially moving to Fox News Radio. You can access the site by going to www.foxnewsradio.com. Click on blogs and you'll see my name. I will be discontinuing this site in a few weeks. So feel free to go ahead and make the change in your Internet favorites!

In-Line Skating Portland-style

It takes alot to shock the good people of Portland, Ore. It's a place where live sex acts are protected as free speech. But a naked on-line skater really shook things up the other day.

Gennifer Moss, also known as Earth Friend Gen, caught tourists and commuters by surprise as she whizzed past them wearing only a pair of skates. Her free-spirited ways were halted when she blazed through a construction site. Concerned hard hats called the cops -- said they were worried about her safety.

Two concerns come to mind: wind burn and splinters.

But it seems she wasn't violating any laws. Imagine that. The police told her to tone it down. So Earth Friend Gen shimmied into a string bikini bottom and went bouncing down the road.

Moose Shootin' Mama

Say what you will about bitter Americans, but they sure can write country music songs.

Pat Garrett is a musician from Strausstown, PA. He writes country music songs on the side. He pays the bills with a sheepskin coat business. I'm sure that goes over well with the PETA crowd.

Anyway, Pat has written a song in honor of Gov. Sarah Palin, called, "Moose Shootin' Mama."

Here's a taste of Pat's tune: "She's a moose shootin' mama and she'll help keep our country free. She's a moose shootin’ mama, she'll make a great VP..." Kinda catchy and it does rhyme.

It's not his first foray into politically charged songs. He wrote two songs about Hillary Clinton and penned a polka in honor of Monica Lewinsky. I bet the polka was pretty difficult to compose. It's hard to find words that rhyme with cigar and blue dress.

I digress. The McCain campaign is pretty happy about the song so don't be surprised if you hear "Moose Shootin' Mama" at a few rallies. Way to go, Pat!

Hog Calling and Name Calling

Over the past few weeks, both political parties have been giving pigs a bad name. It's gotten so bad, some of the reporters have starting wearing hip-waders on board the campaign jetliners. The infamous "you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig" line is still getting tossed around the campaign trail. Senator Barack Obama said he wasn't referring to Gov. Sarah Palin. It's an old expression, he explained.

We've got a similar expression back in the hills and hollows where I come from. You can put lipstick on a pig -- and still call it a date. That's what the old-timers say. I hear it gets lonely up in some of those hills.

** And congratulations to the winner of the annual hog-calling contest at the Nez Perce County Fair. That's somewhere up in northern Idaho. A woman took first place honors. She's raised several champion pigs for 4-H competitions and calls her little darlings every morning and night with her little girl.

Her award-winning call starts with a few loud snorts and a long drawn out "sooey," according to the Associated Press.

And the winner's name? Jolee Bacon. I kid you not.

Are Those Your Antlers or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

It's mating season in Phoenix!

That's a good thing if you happen to be an elk -- a not-so-good thing if you happen to be human. Thmale elk can get a bit rowdy when they are trying to woo the ladies. And newcomers to the region are apparently not accustomed to such mating rituals.

Eligible bachelors strut their stuff by uttering a high-pitched come-on line. It works in the singles bar, but not so much in the suburbs. Elk bugling is the official term and the locals say it sounds alot like a human screaming -- hence the calls to the local sheriffs department.

In case you're planning a family outing, elk mating season lasts a few more weeks.

Have fun kids.

Where's the Beef?

Some patrons of a Maine restaurant showed a bit too much prime rib the other day --- and it landed them in jail. The Black Frog Restaurant on Moosehead Lake has a long-standing tradition. If any of their customers shows up in the buff, they get a free prime rib sandwich. So Chrsytal Stillwell, Bernard Beckwith and Christian Simpson took them up on the offer.

The skinny-dipping trio got props from their fellow diners -- but not from a family walking along the boardwalk. They saw a bit too much prime rib and called the cops. All three were arrested.

I wonder if they got their sandwiches with or without buns?

Gone Fishing

Hey guys,

Taking the day off. I'll be back with fresh stuff on Wednesday!

Dad Chases Nude Boy out of Daughter's Room

From Deltona, Florida, we have a possible candidate for Father of the Year.

According to the Associated Press, a man heard strange noises coming from his daughter's bedroom. Like any good father, he grabbed a metal pipe and went to investigate. When he opened the bedroom door he discovered a naked stranger standing on his daughter's bed. It took the dad about 30 seconds to go Buford Pusser on that boy's rear end. The unidentified father popped the offender once in the head and then chased him out the front door --- and called the cops.

Now this is where the story gets interesting. It seems the naked stranger was his teenage daughter's boyfriend and the pair had been getting "nekkid" for more than a year. And by "nekkid" I don't mean "naked." For you Methdists out there -- naked is what you get when you take a shower. Nekkid means you should probably take a shower -- a cold one.

So who do you suppose the cops carted off to jail? You've got it folks. Daddy Dearest is now facing aggravated battery on a child charges. He bonded out on $10,000. Meanwhile, the boy is recovering from his butt-kickin'. Doctors had to staple his head back together.

Let's review the facts, ladies and gentlemen. A man discovers a stranger in his own home -- doing Lord knows what to his daughter --- and he's the one who gets thrown in jail.

We'll have to follow this case through the court system. Meantime, I bet it's safe to say the teenage lovebirds will think long and hard the next time they decide to tussel in the sheets.

Loose Ends

Hey folks, just in time for Halloween -- some photos of me working in New Orleans during Hurricane Gustav (suitable for framing).

Photos From Ground Zero

It was a marathon day of reporting from Ground Zero. I was based on a tenth floor balcony at World Financial Center 2. We had an impressive view of the pit. Included in these photos are images of Mayor Michael Bloomberg and NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly. My producer for the day was the unflappable Kirsten McNary. She did a great job.

Never Forget

Today I'll be reporting from Ground Zero. This is the seventh anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. I'll be blogging from 2 World Trade Center. We must never forget what the evil that occurred on that day.

Check Out Today's NY Post Front Page!

Coming Tonight

Greetings fellow readers. I'm taking the morning off -- going on a long run. I'll be blogging later this afternoon. And boy -- do I have a story for you. PETA is getting into the film industry. They're making a movie about killer chickens. No kidding.

The full cluck later today!

And --- if you haven't already done so -- be sure to join my Facebook page.

MTV Host Calls President a Retard

Last night's MTV Video Music Awards turned into a vicious attack on President Bush, Gov. Sarah Palin and teenagers who are pledging to stay virgins until marriage. Folks, this is just insane.

British comedian Russell Brand hosted the show and launched into a tirade calling the president a "retard cowboy." He also said delivered a crude joke about Gov. Sarah Palin. And it gets worse. Throughout the show he insulted and hurled lewd accusations and jokes at the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers are born-again Christians. Their father is a former pastor. All three of the boys wear purity rings -- an outward sign of their pledge to remain pure until they get married. At one point, Brand pulled out a ring suggesting he had stolen one of the boy's virginity.

The night was so outrageous that American Idol star Jordin Sparks came to their defense.

"Not everyone wants to be a slut," Sparks said when she got on stage. Later she told an entertainment magazine someone had to put Brand in his place. You go, girl! It's just a shame that a teenage girl was the only person in the audience with enough common sense to say what should have been said.

MTV executives could've pulled the plug on this guy -- but they did not. They allowed this shameful act to continue and subjected three Christian teenage boys to national humiliation.

As you might imagine, Mr. Brand's utter contempt for our nation and teenage virgins was a hit with the national media. The Associated Press thought it was a great show (although they did acknowledge the "retard" line was over the top.)

Anyway, we can only hope Mr. Brand returns to England for good. And hopefully, the next time he goes through customs, the TSA agent will be a Jonas Brothers fan.

Good luck with that, Mr. Brand.

Rest in Peace

Sadly, my faithful microphone flag has passed away. Its demise blamed on the ferocious winds of Hurricane Gustav. A memorial has been erected in Fox News Radio Master Control. Sniff. Sniff.

The "U" Word...

You might want to add "uppity" to the list of racially insensitive words. Georgia Congressman Lynn Westmoreland is in hot water for calling Senator Barack Obama and his wife the "u" word.

Democrats are demanding the Republican apologize, according to the Associated Press. Apparently, the word is a derogatory term describing minorities seeking equal treatment.

The dictionary defines the "u" word as someone who is haughty, snobbish or has inflated self-esteem.

Congressman Westmoreland used the word while describing the pair as part of an "elitist class."

The "e" word is still permissible -- for now.

Don't Speak English? No Problem!

The LPGA is taking a mulligan.

It seems the governing body of women's golf is backing off their "English Only" policy. The Associated Press is reporting the LPGA is reversing a plan that would've suspended players who could not speak English efficiently.

The reversal comes as the LPGA weathers a storm of controversy from sponsors and civil rights groups.

One California lawmaker suggested the rule might violate state law covering workplace discrimination or disabilities. So let me get this straight -- not speaking the nation's official language is a disability?

I'll give you once guess which city the lawmaker represents.

Oprah vs. Sarah Palin

CATFIGHT!!

There's drama developing over whether there's drama between Oprah and Sarah Palin. Insiders are telling Drudge Report the Queen of Talk is balking at having Palin on her show. But a spokesperson for Harpo tells Fox the story is "categorically untrue."

Here's the full statement from Oprah:

"The item in todays Drudge Report is categorically untrue. There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show. At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates. I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over. - Oprah Winfrey, September 5, 2008."

Here's Fox's story.

There you have it folks -- any thoughts?